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The Blind Men and the Elephant
It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.
The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
?God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a WALL!?
The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, ?Ho, what have we here,
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ?tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a SPEAR!?
The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
?I see,? quoth he, ?the Elephant
Is very like a SNAKE!?
The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee
?What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,? quoth he:
??Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a TREE!?
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: ?E?en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a FAN!?
The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
?I see,? quoth he, ?the Elephant
Is very like a ROPE!?
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!
Bush disassembles
Can you spot the mistake in this statement, made by President Bush at last week's press conference:In terms of the detainees, we've had thousands of people detained. We've investigated every single complaint against the detainees. It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of -- and the allegations -- by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble -- that means not tell the truth. And so it was an absurd report. It just is. And, you know -- yes, sir.
Ok, that's not fair, because the whole statement is chock full of wrongheadedness. But look at the word "disassemble." That doesn't have anything to do with truth. The word Bush needed was "dissemble":
dissemble \dih-SEM-buhl\, transitive verb:
1. To hide under a false appearance; to hide the truth or true nature of.
2. To put on the appearance of; to feign.
Four years ago, Bush's faux pas would have been fodder for the nightly news and late night comics. Hell, the White House didn't even bother to doctor up the quote to make Dear Leader look smarter than he is. If I know the difference between "disassemble" and "dissemble", then the Ivy Leaguers at the White House must surely know.
But we are in Bush's second term, and we've stopped caring. I guess it would have been news if he used the right word.
Update: The Chicago Tribune disassembled Bush's quote, and used the correct word, "dissemble", without comment. Because it's the media's job to make the President look good.
Hat tip to Orwell's Grave
Crying Wolf
In case you haven't caught the flap between Tom DeLay and a TV fictional crime drama, here goes: A few weeks ago, Law and Order featured a story (did I mentional fictional story?) about the murder of a judge. One of the fictional detectives on the show, whose dialogue is often used to drive the narrative that tells the fictional story, lamented the lack of leads in the case with this quip: "maybe we should put out an APB for a guy in a Tom DeLay t-shirt."
Tom Delay went ballistic, and blasted L&O's producer Dick Wolf for partisan warmongering. Wolf told DeLay to go have intimate, non-procreative relations with himself.
Now there's a sequel. A right-wing advocacy group called the Free Enterprise Fund, passed out hundreds of Tom DeLay t-shirts to capital hill staffers last Thursday. The backside read “Who’s Afraid of Dick Wolf?”
Here's the punchline::“The implications of this incident go well beyond the culture wars,” Free Enterprise Fund Vice President Lawrence Hunter said. “NBC has now joined a witch hunt to discredit Tom DeLay and the agenda he represents that already includes partisan prosecutors and judges, dozens of liberal advocacy groups and much of the news media.”
Add to that awesome level of support hundreds of hill staffers who now own Tom DeLay t-shirts. Oooooohhh!
DeLay spokesman Dan Allen said, “The congressman was attacked on a prime time TV show, and the level of support he's received shows just how out of step his attackers are.”
7.6.05 01:52