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Gay hurricane alert
Here's a quote that didn't make it in Time Magazine's 5,000-word love letter to Ann Coulter:"Cheney is my ideal man. Because he's solid. He's funny. He's very handsome. He was a football player. People don't think about him as the glamour type because he's a serious person, he wears glasses, he's lost his hair. But he's a very handsome man. And you cannot imagine him losing his temper, which I find extremely sexy. Men who get upset and lose their tempers and claim to be sensitive males: talk about girly boys. No, there's a reason hurricanes are named after women and homosexual men, it's one of our little methods of social control. We're supposed to fly off the handle.
I must have missed Hurricane Seth.
Possible letter to al-Zarqawi cites low morale
Am I the only person who thinks this supposed letter came at a convenient time?
Dear Sheik:
It was great seeing you at the mosque last weekend. I can't believe it's already been two years since the infidels invaded our land between the rivers! How time flies when you're on the run. How are your darling children? My Mohammed just turned nine years old, and he was asking about you the other day. After he heard about the failed detonation near the Baghdad waste water treatment plant, little Mohammed asked "Daddy, was that a sewer side bombing?" They grow up so fast.
Anyway, you seemed kind of rushed the last time we met, and you said you wanted to talk later, so I thought I'd scribble out a fast note to let you know that some of the mujahadeen have concerns about the level of commitment to our struggle against the infidels. I'm not saying your leadership is lacking or anything like that, only that, well, morale is kind of low, and the men could use some encouragement. Not that they aren't happy to strap bombs to their bodies and martyr themselves. They just feel that they need something to fight for. Just the other day, I overheard Saed and Azziz question the desirability of 70 virgins when they have Maxim Magazine. I know this type of talk is blasphemous, and I punished Saed and Azziz by sending them out to blow up a tanning salon, from which they did not return, but still, this type of grumbling does not bode well for our movement.
We're doing our best to keep spirits up, but it is not easy. Last week, we had an ice cream social, which was going well until a Predator drone passed overhead, and we had to dive for cover. By the time the cursed plane was gone, all of our ice cream had melted in the 120 degree weather. We tried to organize a soccer league, but half of our mujahadeen are missing a right leg, and the other half are missing their left.
So anyway, Sheik, I will try to leave another message with your secretary. You certainly do seem to be "out" a lot these days!
Allah Akbar!
Your faithful servant,
Abu Jihad al Tikrit
Cartoon of the day
My brother sent me this one.
3.5.05 14:09
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(3.5.05 17:25) Oh we are, are we, Annie? Are we supposed to be bad at parking and reading maps too? What a giggle we silly girls are! Oh, I feel a random and baseless mood swing coming on now. |