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Behold my ham
Monday ham blogging.
No Child Left Behind: the football version
from 2005_03_06_southernappeal_archive.html#111020251047568263">Southern Appeal1. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all must win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.
No Child Left Behind is a terrible law, whose only virtue is it frustrates folks on all sides of the political spectrum.
2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities.
ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.
3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don't like football.
4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in 4th, 8th and 11th games.
5. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals.
7.3.05 18:36
