Why the Republicans will nominate Jeb Bush in 2008


1. As governor of Florida, a must-have state for either party, he's a shoe-in. That frees up GOP campaign funds for other closely contested states that the GOP lost last time, like Wisconsin and Minnesota.

2. His pandering to the Schiavo death cultists, as shameless as it was, was still far enough under the radar to avoid detection by the media, or at least to not create serious projectile vomiting among moderates. So the he can appear moderate to some folks, and still speak in tongues to the snake handlers.

3. He's a Bush, the GOP's most trusted brand of politician.

4. Or, put another way, Jeb is George W. Bush 2.0, and less likely to crash during campaign season while running such tricky apps as Iraq 1.0, Greenhouse Gas Calculator, and Foreign Policy Sim. That's because Jeb is a governor, with little or no involvement with Iraq, global warming and internaional relations.

5. The Republican primary season will be nasty, brutish and short for moderates like John McCain and, well, that's about it. So we'll end up with seven dwarfs creeping out the general public with increasingly awful ideas about religion's proper place in a modern democracy, the sanctity of gun ownership, and the corrupting influence of feminine hygene sprays. Jeb, who is rumored to be a deaf mute, can stay above the fray. He's a Bush, and doesn't have to prove himself. That's the power of branding.


Jesus lights up East Chicago, Indiana

Wapo reports that a fight broke out in East Chicago, Indiana recently after a crowd gathered to witness a Christ-like shadow cast by a streetlight. City officials have since turned off the light to discourage further late-night pilgrimages.
"The city respects everyone's religious beliefs, but it's getting to the point now where it's almost too dangerous" to leave the light on, said Damian Rico, the city's public relations director.

People have flocked to the site since Wednesday, when a woman first claimed to see the image on the side of a tree. The image is only visible at night when the streetlight near the tree is illuminated.

Machuca said his department doesn't have the manpower to maintain regular patrols and control the crowd.

"The light will remain off until we can get some kind of solution," he said.
How about cleaning the dead moth off the freaking light bulb? That might do it.

h/t to Turnspit
14.7.05 02:17


Wisconsin River canoe trip




I'll be canoeing and camping for the next couple days on the Wisconsin River, between Sauk City and Spring Green. That stretch is known for hospitable sand bars and eerily green water, caused by tannin released from the nearby tamarack swamps. In other words, heaven.

I called Trader's Bar and Grill in Arena the other day to reserve our canoes. I spoke with Abby, who was very pleasant, and told me about the sand bars. "I've lived here all my life, and I can tell you that you'll have no problem finding a sand bar to camp out on on a Friday night." The river is low now, so the sand bars are plentiful, and spacious, she assured me.

When we concluded our talk, I asked Abby if she wanted my credit card number, you know, to reserve the canoes. "Well, you see, I'm not really set up to take credit cards. You can just pay me when you get here. You're word is good enough for me."

Like I said, heaven.
15.7.05 04:06


Down by the river




What a great trip. We stopped frequently on the numerous sandbars, each a scorching hot oasis of critter footprints and exquisitely sculpted sand. We misoverestimated how long the trip would take. The outfitters estimated three hours, but the fast current and our own testosterone cut the time time to two hours. When we stopped for the night, we thought we were still 90 minutes from our take out point, but in reality we were ten minutes away. That was kind of a let down. We finished the day with a trip to Taliesin, Frank Lloyd Wright's home in Spring Green. The 38,000 square foot home has over 100 rooms, set on 600 acres. There are also barns and a school of architecture. A bit of trivia: FLW's son, John Lloyd Wright, invented Lincoln Logs in 1916.



Clockwise from top left: Trader's Bar and Grill near Spring Green, Wisconsin; Putting in the next morning; sand sculptures; garlic sausages roasting on an open fire, or the seventh circle of hell - you decide.
17.7.05 16:06


Why We Fight, Part Deux


This was posted yesterday at Theology Online:
Dear Osama Bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, and Sadam Hussein, et. al.,

We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge to an old-fashioned game of whoop-***. Now that we understand that there are no rules in this game, we anxiously look forward to playing. Since we are not used to playing with no rules, bear with us while we adjust to new game strategies.

Since this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately are unable to extend an invitation to join us at the victory celebration. But rest assured, the current agenda will include an old fashioned roast -- LITERALLY ALL OF YOU.

While we will admit that you are off to an impressive lead, it is however, now our turn at the plate.

By the way, we will--from this point on--be playing on your court. Batter up.

Sincerely,

The 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America
Add mixed metaphors to the long list of George Bush's weapons in The War on Terror.
18.7.05 14:24


Joli v. Novak




h/t Wonkette
19.7.05 21:36


Bush nominates middle-aged white guy to court!


Boldness, thy name is Bush.
20.7.05 13:30


Iraqi Constitution 2.0


Check out John Cole's post of a preliminary draft of the new Iraqi Constitution, which says anyone can be an Iraqi citizen, oh, except for Israelis of course.
Article 1
1. Anyone who has Iraqi nationality is considered an Iraqi citizen, with all rights and duties according to law.

2. An Iraqi may not be deprived of his nationality nor exiled or deported unless it is proven in a trial that he provided false essential information that resulted in his being granted nationality.

3. Any individual with another nationality (except for Israel) may obtain Iraqi nationality after a period of residency inside the borders of Iraq of not less than ten years for an Arab or twenty years for any other nationality, as long as he has good character and behavior, has no criminal judgment against him from the Iraqi authorities during the time of his residency on the territory of the Iraqi republic.

4. An Iraqi may have more than one nationality as long as the nationality is not Israeli.
Freedom is on the march!
21.7.05 13:19


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