History according to Cooter


Social security caused the Great Depression. The Marshall Plan was a failed giveaway program. Alabama has the constitutional right to declare itself a Christian state.

We've been hearing this blather for years, but now a book called A Politically Incorrect Guide to United States History has slithered to the number 16 spot on the New York Time's paperback non-fiction best sellers list. Its author, Thomas Woods, Jr., serves up questionable scholarship that is both jaw-droppingly awful, and just clever enough to fool some of the red states all of the time.

My Republican friends who are smart enough to see through this hokum say it's unfair to tarnish the whole GOP just because of a few loose cannons like Woods. The Republican Party, they tell me most assuredly, stands of smaller, less intrusive government, lower taxes, and strong national defense. The Democrats have their own wingnuts. So how is that any different?

And then I point out that the Democratic wingnuts aren't steering the ship. There is no Act Up congressional caucus. No Democratic senator is proposing a constitutional amendment to ban prayer. True, left wing wackos are doing political street theatre at the fruit market. Right wing wackos play golf with the President.
12.2.05 23:59


A modest proposal


SEC. 1. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

SEC. 5. The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article. – Fourteenth Amendment to the US Constitution
Apparently, there are Americans who insist that the 14th amendment was never properly ratified. The amendment, passed in the years following the Civil War, was none too popular in the southern states. So, says the critics, the victorious north packed southern state senate and house seats with yes men, and passed the 14th at gun point. Ignoring the irony that the second amendment giving birth to the 14th, I think this bit of historic revisionism leaves an important opening for 21st centry Democrats: lets re-ratify the 14th amendment!

The timing is perfect. While Republicans are nattering on about Heather's two mommies, we can point out that there is nothing in the constitution to prevent Kansas from exiling Jews, or Idaho to outlaw condoms. Sensible Republicans will develop peptic ulcers while their ethically challenged cohorts try to change the subject to hot, man-on-box-turtle sex, or France.

Are you listening Atrios?
15.2.05 00:16


Fifty


One day back in high school, some kid brought a perpetual calendar to school, and some of us thought it was really cool. We started looking up our birthdays, to see what day of the week they fell on. I was born on a Wednesday. Then we started looking up the days of future, milestone birthdays. Far off birthdays, as distant and mysterious as the rings of Saturn. My 50th birthday, I noted, also fell on a Wednesday. What will that be like, I wondered? My only reference was Mr. Feinemann, the perpetually cranky Earth science teacher and troll-like lunchroom monitor. He wore his pants half way up his abdomen, and had an absurd combover that defied you to keep a straight face. Rumor was the Germans messed with his brain in World War II. That will never be me, I assured myself.

So while I never turned into Mr. Feinemann, I did turn 50 at one second after midnight this morning. I am standing on the rings of Saturn, and it's not all that bad.
16.2.05 15:23


Bizzaro World News


White House mouthpiece Ari Fliescher says GOPUSA is not in anyway related to the Republican Party. GOPUSA mastermind Bob Eberle convinced Fliescher that the "GOP" part of the acronym is "for marketing purposes only". Eberle is also a Texas Republican activist and served as a delegate to the 2000 Republican National Convention. Fliescher went on to say that the 2000 Republican Convention was not associated with the Republican Party, and only used the name for marketing purposes. "Our real agenda has nothing to do with a republic as such. We're more into war and taxing poor people."

Hat Tip to Kos




Crossing reality

Fans of NBC's Crossing Jordan, a police drama set in Boston, will be thrilled to know that Dr. Nigel Townsend has his own blog! Viewers who think there's not enough real crime to worry about can help a fictional TV forensic pathologist solve imaginary murders involving people who never lived.

It's a brave new world.


Friday Cat blogging
18.2.05 01:10


Those crazy kids

They're the young generation, and they have something to say:
A new survey found that a majority of high schoolers think newspapers should not be allowed to publish without government approval. And almost one in five said that Americans should be prohibited from expressing unpopular opinions.

Lemme tell you little darlings something: This is my livelihood you're messing with, so either learn the Bill of Rights or you don't deserve Social Security.

Now, to those of you who think I'm overreacting: Yes, I understand that when you're in high school you're still very young and that no one really cares what kids say anyway — it's not like priests are dating them for their brains.
From Bill Maher, of course. He rightly points out today's teenagers came of political age in the post 9/11 age. Most are apparently taking their cues from our Moral Caregiver in Chief, the former governor of Texas and current President of the United States, George W. Bush, whose leather-winged minions tell us that dissent is unpatriotic, and there's really no reason to nuance this whole World War Three thing we're doing. There's good, and then there's evil. Only pointy headed liberals see shades of grey, and liberals are traitors. Pass it on.
19.2.05 19:21


More crazy kids


"Hey-hey, ho-ho, Social Security has got to go!" – College Republicans chanting at today's Rick Santorum-sponsored save-Social-Security media event in Philadelphia.
Hat tip to MYDD.
22.2.05 23:11


I'd like to buy a vowel, please

From  Mahablog:
Iran is not Iraq Bush told Europe. Well, that's progress. Awhile back he figured out that Sweden is not Switzerland. What's next, I wonder? An acknowledgment that Antarctica is not Antigua? It's those pesky first syllables that seem to confuse him.
23.2.05 22:22


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