He's a witch, I tell you! Burn him!


A Catholic lawyer has filed charges of heresy in the Boston Archdiocese against John Kerry, accusing the presumptive Democratic nominee of bringing scandal to the church as a pro-choice Cartholic. Heresy is one of the gravest sins you can commit, said the Marc Balestrieri, a canonical lawyer from Los Angeles.


Reagan's right flank

Ronald Reagan is remembered by some as the President who slept while the AIDS epidemic spun out of control. But Ronnie's surgeon general, Dr. C. Everett Koop, blame's the President's political advisers for the silence:
"Conservatives around (Reagan) didn't want him to get involved because of the people who had AIDS," Koop remembered. They said, 'Homosexuals, intravenous drug abusers, heterosexuals who are sexually promiscuous, prostitutes – don't they deserve what they got?'' I've always resented that. I think I could have saved a lot more people."
But that was 20 years ago. Thankfully, the Republicans are no longer beholdent to religious fanatics.

Yeah, right.
1.7.04 19:12


My cousin's website


My cousin Richard started this website about 10 years ago. Over the year's he's added various improvements and links, and now he gets 250,000 hits a month. And he's been interviewed by Howard Stern. Go figure.

Richard has about a hundred truly amusing web links. This is one of my favorites.


Lake Express Ferry

I'll be travelling to Michigan with the wife and kids this weekend. We're taking the Lake Express Ferry from Milwaukee to Muskegon. I've heard the boat has WiFi, so I'll pack my trusty clamshell iBook and attempt to blog during the 2-1/2 hour crossing.
2.7.04 03:08


At least Saddam wore a condom!

The Guardian reports that American MPs recently raided an Iraqi detention facility to save accused terrorists and common criminals from abuse at the hands of Iraqi police. The MPs found about 150 prisoners had been beaten by their captors, and a confrontation ensued between the Iraqi police and the Americans. Then this:
"The American asked me why we had beaten the prisoners. I said we beat the prisoners because they are all bad people. But I told him we didn't strip them naked, photograph them or f*** them like you did."

You remember the "We're not as bad as Saddam defense", don't you? It's morphed into the "We're not as bad as the Americans" defense.

We're not the good guys anymore. Thanks, Dubya.
2.7.04 14:46


Double-D is in da house




“Tell your papa, tell your mama, it’s time for a senator named Barack Obama.”
— Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.), rapping at a Rainbow/PUSH labor breakfast in Chicago as he introduced the Democratic Senate candidate.


In plane sight



The best kept secret in American politics for the last three months or so has been who Kerry would pick as his running mate. And if it wasn't for that unfortunate jumbo-jet signage thing, we still wouldn't know.

I like Edwards. He's upbeat, funny, well-spoken and smart. The Republicans will make a great deal of his lack of foreign policy experience, while side-stepping the issue of how a former governor of Texas was able to grow into the job. The GOP hackmeisters will also remind us over and over that Edwards was a trial lawyer who made a living suing insurance companies.

Bring it on.


Lake Express ferry



If Lake Michigan was located anywhere else in the world, it would be criss-crossed with car ferries and passenger boats of all kinds. But this is the United States of Frickin' America, and we drive cars, even if it means being stuck in traffic for three hours on the Dan Ryan Expressway in downtown Chicago in 90 degree weather.

So there's only room for two car ferries on a lake which is nearly three times the size of Wales. One, the SS Badger, makes a four-hour trip from Manitowoc, Wisconsin, to Ludington, Michigan, twice a day, from June to October. It's been around for 50 years.

Then there's the Lake Express ferry, which has been operating between Milwaukee and Muskegon since June 1. The Lake Express ferry is everything the Badger isn't: modern, sleek and fast. Its double hulled design cuts through the water at 35 knots, which is fast enough to pull a water skier, and it makes the 80 mile voyage in 2 -1/2 hours, three times a day.

For my family, the Lake Express ferry is a miracle. We've been making the trip from Milwaukee to the Heraldblog family's ancestoral home in Michigan several times a year, enduring Chicago traffic, numerous bathroom stops, toll roads and the sights and smells of Gary, Indiana along the way. Now, the ferry docks near the Coast Guard station on Milwaukee's south side, about one mile from our house.

So we took the trip this past fourth of July weekend, leaving the Dodge Grand Caravan sitting in a muddy, overflow lot. Here's some photos of the boat.



Photos (clockwise from upper left): Visitors to Muskegon's harbor are mesmerized by mysterious sand piles, which archeologists date back to the year 1999; the main passenger compartment has tables and TV screens, plus a snack bar, and there's a first class cabin with larger and more spacious seats reserved for those looking to read and relax, two activities which are strictly forbidden elsewhere on the boat; four diesel engines provide 12,000 horsepower of thrust, nearly three times the thrust of Wales; the upper deck is very windy, much like this caption.
6.7.04 19:39


The new grammar

Christopher Hitchens offers a grammar lesson for all of us post-moderns.


Cherchez la musique

Dickie Betts, former guitarist for legendary 70s band The Allman Brothers, is playing in Milwaukee's Cathedral Square this Friday night. It's all part of the city's annual Bastille Days celebration.
7.7.04 13:56


Don't write off the south

It's been conventional wisdom in American politics that the GOP owns the south. Only liberals with all their fancy book learnin' vote Democratic, they're about as rare in Dixie as bratwurst and cheese curds. Right?

Wrong, says Jack Bass, professor of humanities and social sciences at the College of Charleston, in today's NY Times:
"Despite a slight Republican tilt in state politics, genuine two-party competition has emerged in the South, with political independents holding the balance of power. A South Carolina survey last fall, for example, found that 31 percent of registered voters identified themselves as independents; many of them are suburban dwellers who can identify with Mr. Edwards's upward mobility. In addition, Mr. Edwards's "two Americas" speech resonates both with blacks and working-class whites, especially the tens of thousands in the Carolinas who have lost jobs as textile and apparel plants have moved overseas."
The Edwards factor turns narrow Bush leads in Louisiana, Tennessee, Virginia and Arkansas into contested races.


Stayin' alive

The only remotely compelling reason that I can see for voting for George Bush this fall is that he stands between the American people and millions of crazed jihadists who want to kill us. Staying alive trumps any political consideration you can think of. Yap all you want about medicare, faith-based initiatives, personal freedoms, taxation, employment, whatever, but none of that matters if there's a real chance that your friendly neighborhood Islamofascist is going to waste you and your family.

So that's a good thing for the Republicans, right? Well, not really. Because if all Bush can sell is a clear-eyed vision that will save us from the terrorists, then his entire campaign must be based on fear. I'm not convinced that's going to fly with the majority of Americans. Fear sells mouthwash. Fear sells insurance. But fear won't sell Bush. Not now.

Kerry's approach to The War Against Terror has been criticized as being too close to Dubya's. And to be honest, I don't see an awful lot of difference between the two. Both men want to stay the course in Iraq, and both want to see more involvement in Iraq by the UN or NATO.

This is not a problem for Kerry. There is no need for the Senator from Massachusetts to sign on to a cut-and-run policy, which is the only real alternative. So who is John Kerry? Simple: He's a relief pitcher. A closer. Bush led off the game with a solid performance in Afghanistan, where he shut down the Taliban, and in the late innings he fanned Saddam. But now that we've built up a comfortable lead, it's tiime to put the game on ice. To leave the strained baseball analogy, it's time to digest the gains we've made, step back, and reappraise the situation. It's like one of those abysmal extreme makeover shows. Bush ripped up the 70s vintage linoleum in the kitchen, ripped down the tacky chandelier, and demolished the dreary faux-walnut panelled wall between the den and the breezeway. It was all necessary, and we all sense that something much nicer is about to replace it. But building stuff isn't Bush's job. He's the wrecking crew. Kerry is the craftsman.

At this point it's tempting to quote Sam Rayburn's dictum that "Any jackass can tear down a barn, but it takes a carpenter to build one." But that wouldn't be fair to Bush, or accurate. As I've written before, I still believe that Bush did the right thing in Afghanistan and Iraq, but for the wrong reasons. He's surrounded himself with idealogues and slimeballs, misled the public, and rebranded America as a war mongering nation state that tortures its enemies. But if John Kerry has a chance of prevailing this fall, he needs to publicly recognize the historic opportunities that a free Iraq has for American interests, and build from there.
8.7.04 18:51


Monkey abuse


Listen up Bush haters: the President is not a monkey:
"Humans share over 99 percent of our DNA with chimpanzees, our closest genetic relative. However, that fraction of a percent accounts for clear differences in mental capacities, physical dexterity, and body hair.

"Bush shares with lower primates the ability to make his desires clear despite an inability to communicate in English. He also understands and reacts to negative stimuli, and makes use of simple tools. However, Bush's dental records -- which were used as evidence of the President's service in the National Guard -- clearly demonstrate that he is human."





Coup. Not a coup.

Predictably, the Bush campaign has blasted Sen. John Edwards as not Presidential material. When asked recently by a reporter to compare Kerry's running mate to Vice President Dick Cheney, Bush said, in what could be taken as a threat, "Dick Cheney can be President."

So it's worth noting that only four years ago, then candidate Texas governor Bush, was asked by a reporter to name the leaders of four "hot spot' countries: Chechnya, Taiwan, Pakistan and India. He only named one, kind of, saying "Lee" was the President of Taiwan, instead of using the gentleman's entire name of Lee Teng-hui. But that's OK. Lot's of world leaders call the American President "George".

Then there was this exchange in the same interview:

Reporter: "Can you name the general who is in charge of Pakistan?" Hiller asked, inquiring about Gen. Pervaiz Musharraf, who seized control of the country October 12.

Smirking Chimp: "Wait, wait, is this 50 questions?"

Reporter: "No, it's four questions of four leaders in four hot spots." . . .

SC: "The new Pakistani general, he's just been elected -- not elected, this guy took over office. It appears this guy is going to bring stability to the country and I think that's good news for the subcontinent."

Not only did candidate Bush not know who General Pervez Musharraf was, but apparently also confused a military coup with being elected.

But don't worry. Dick Cheney can be President.
9.7.04 22:18


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