President Rorschach

I am convinced there are two President Bushes. I'm not sure how the White House pulls this off. It might have something to do with Google technology, or cloning, or holograms.

Or maybe my conservative friends just see things differently.

His Tuesday night press conference was a low point in his Presidency, even worse than he disastrous "Meet the Press" interview. He looked tired, confused, ill-prepared. He mangled the language beyond recognitiom, one point confusing the words "blackmail" and "extortion".

But that's one President Bush. The President's acolytes see another President Bush, resolute and strong, a leader unburdened by curiosity or the need to speak eloguently. Eloquence is for elites like Kerry. Real men dangle their participles and don't worry about subject-verb agreements. It's the thought that counts. Besides, everybody knows that the Bush men are genetically predisposed to mushmouth. Cut the man some slack. He's doing the best he can.

As one of Andrew Sullivan's readers puts it, "We now have a President whose not much different from a special ed student. We clap and cheer every time he has his shoes on the right feet."
15.4.04 15:19


Pearls of wisdom

1.    Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2.    Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3.    I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
4.    I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5.    I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
6.    I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
7.    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
8.    I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
9.    Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
10.    How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
11.    Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
12.    Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
13.    Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
14.    Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
15.    A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun."
18.4.04 23:18


Natalie



Here's a picture of my daughter that I just found buried in my hard drive. I took it two summers ago, when she was three, and just brave enough to cling to the rope swing my our back yard.
19.4.04 16:05


The revolution will be digitized




A Saudi blogger says the Saudi people will rise up against their theocratic head case leaders when the government starts confiscating camera cell phones. Picture phones are currently illegal in The Magic Kingdom, but are still openly sold and advertised. The problem, observes Alhamedi Alanezi, is that one day soon all cell phones are certain to be camera phones. He has a point:
Ten years ago, PC's had floppy discs and big cubic screens; now CD-RW and flatscreens are becoming the norm. In 5 to 10 years time, all phones will be camera phones, it'll be the standard. So will the muttawa try and ban all phones in Saudi Arabia? It'd be like trying to take an American's gun, or an Englishman's dog. Arabs in general, and Saudis in particular, live for their mobile phones, in a way that other parts of the world would not understand. And we are physically incapable of ignoring our phone when it rings.
The Saudi people take their cell phones very seriously.
20.4.04 17:50


I just knew this was funny when I wrote it




As my astute reader will well note, my April 1 posting used the joke about Cheney drinking a glass of water while Bush speaks before the 9/11 commission. Well, OK, it's a pretty obvious gag, but still, The Onion is using it.

I get no love.
21.4.04 03:14


Building a bridge to the 17th century




The Saudi blogger who calls himself The Religious Policeman is on a roll, and so are, uh, heads in this piece:
The thing we should face up to as Saudis is that Public Executions are “showbiz”. So we should do them properly. If we were the USA, with their “by invitation only” executions, we could afford to be low-key about the whole thing. But we’re not ashamed of having ours in public, so let’s do it with style.

At the moment what happens is that a couple of guys put down a big polyethylene sheet. Then the executioner arrives. Then the van arrives with the prisoner and his guard. They lead the prisoner to the center of the sheet and make him kneel. If the relatives of his victim want to pardon him, now is the time for them to shout, and he’s released, pays blood money instead. Otherwise the sword swings, head comes off, lots of blood, people faint, someone pukes. Body and head are taken away. Polythene sheet rolled up. All over.

Prediction: The Religious Policeman is going to make it big in the blogosphere. Unless the real religious police catch up with him first.

Kind of hard to blog without hands.
22.4.04 15:14


Shrink wrapped




I'm not a huge fan of the hit TV show Frasier, but it makes me laugh and that's why we watch sitcoms, right? At its best, Frasier has some of the best comedy writing on television, and Kelsey Grammar and David Hyde Pierce are pitch perfect in their portrayals of two pompous brothers trying to force taste and culture on a world that doesn't seem to care. At its worse, Frasier is incredibly sappy. I mean, who cares if Niles loves Daphne? It was funny for a while, but do we really need "A Very Special Frasier" to flesh out the details? I think not.

Anyway, Frasier is calling it quits after 11 years on the air, so now us Americans have one more thing to grieve. Dorothy Rabinowitz gives us a nice profile of Kelsey Grammar in WSJ's Opionion Journal.

Talk about self important.


Master baiters



Some pundits are suggesting that the GOP was tricked into giving Kerry a national platform for showing the country what a bad ass he was in Vietnam. His military records, which the Kerry campaign posted on its website this week, credit him with killing 20 enemy combatants, and provide solid documentation that he was wounded three times and decorated for bravery. So how was the GOP bated? Last Sunday, on Meet the Press, Kerry said he had already released his military records. Well, he really hadn't. So then the Republicans started clamoring for him to really and truly release all of his records, thinking maybe there was something the Massachusets senator was hiding. That generated press coverage, which generated buzz, which generated much more interest than there would have been had Karl Rove and his leather-winged demons just kept their mouths shut.

Smart move on the Kerry campaign's part, if that's what happened. If this is an example of how Kerry's people can run a campaign, then it gives me hope for a Democratic victory come November.
22.4.04 23:54


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